What can I say about Christmas this year? How ’bout “Not feeling it.”
My family is nuts to begin with. Oh, and I had a fight with my unmedicated and insane brother. So not only is my family nuts, but now we are a nuts family divided for the holidays.
Money is tight, which isn’t that big of a deal to me. I always shop on Xmas Eve, usually before the store is about to close down anyway. I do not celebrate the “birth” of baby Jesus with gluttonous capitalism.
The weather is fucking dismal. Hey Republicans, guess what? Michigan now has a monsoon season. Keep denying climate changet hough. It just gives the public another reason to view you as mental and emotional troglodytes.
And the worst? My heart is closed. My heart is not open to love, giving, caring or experience right now. I am detoxing off of lorazapam, I’m sure the withdrawal has something to do with my intolerance for love, physical and emotional. I am stuck inside myself. Trapped, unavailable. Hateful. I have nothing to give for Christmas this year. Just a few presents. Bahfuckinghumbug.